5 ways of how to handle twin toddlers (or any toddler!)
Are you wondering about ways to handle your toddler tantrums? Tantrums with one or two can be a little challenging at times – Welcome to the tantrums club and I can assure you that there are lots of us in it!
Here is my approach to tackling tantrums with two (although it applied to one as well). I am not saying these will work with yours, but they may be worth a go!
Toddlers and children are like this – when you give them something that they want, they will ask for two; you give
them two they will ask for three. It happened today with a biscuit. They had two and wanted three. They keep demanding and pushing the boundaries all the time. What they are actually doing is trying to find out where you say enough is enough and like to have a boundary.
Every child is unique, and so is every parent and managing every day toddler tantrums could be altogether a different subject in each home. As I said, what may work for me, might not for someone else.
Here are my 5 parenting tips to handle toddler tantrums.
Out of sight is out of mind
Sometimes you have a fight with your toddler over a toy, a cup or maybe a pair of shoes. Your toddler wants them but the timing is wrong – they can’t take the toy to the car, the shoes they want to wear are their best ones – what do you do? As soon as the storm settles, hide it somewhere. Toddlers mostly live in the present and explore things right around them, so there is a good chance that they will hopefully forget about it fairly quickly.
If your toddlers are anything like mine, the word ‘no’ triggers an almighty explosion – anything in reach gets thrown and then they nose dive to the ground like it’s the end of the world. Sound familiar? Therefore do not commit to anything in a hurry unless you are very sure you want to keep the word. I just keep saying ‘let’s see’ or ‘we’ll see’, to many of my child’s demands.
I have lost count of the occasions when ‘let’s see’ saved me, really! You can practice being diplomatic at home and who knows it might help you one day in your career as well, I know it has mine!
‘NO’ means ‘NO’
Sometimes they just need to understand that no means no, especially when it is related to their safety. When you are in this situation just say no and stick to it no matter what. This sounds strict but it will do good in the long run. If you back down, they remember and will keep going with that tantrum the next time until you give in.
With time, Children understand that when you say no, it means business! So when you say no, be kind and give them a hug, but tell them a no will stay as a no!
It could be something else!
It could be something else, it often is something else and we are yet to work out what that something else is. There will be certain tantrums when no reason helps!
There are other times when they are just not ready to listen to anything at all. They cry so much that no matter what you say, it can only be heard inside your mind. In that case try and ignore the tantrum for a while till they settle down. Once they have, give them a cuddle and try to get them show you what was wrong; let them feel that you are here to listen.
It is ok to hold them until they calm down and are ready for a discussion. Most issues are better settled when both the parent and the child are calm and stable, irrespective of having disagreements.
Is it worth the battle?
I’m a firm believer in being firm but fair with discipline and setting ground rules early is a must. However, you don’t want to constantly be saying ‘NO’ to your toddler. You have to win some battles, and you have to allow them to win some too. I never thought I would say that. As a teacher, I set me rules and stuck to them. Things are so different with toddlers! Ok, so I have written a few scenario down for you to think about.
“My toddler won’t let me strap them into the car seat.”
Worth a battle? Absolutely. This is a matter of life or death.
I try singing to them and turn it into a game, or bribe them with a toy. Keep a toy in the front seat and pass it back to be held if they allow you to strap them in without a fuss.
“My child won’t kiss or hug Granny.”
Worth a battle? No, you can get them to give them a wave or blow a kiss.
“My toddler won’t let me brush their teeth.”
Worth a battle? It depends on your feelings about dental hygiene. I personally give the girls their toothbrush and I model how to do it with my own toothbrush. Made up rhymes also help too. I stopped short of forcing the issue and don’t stick to a time limit yet.