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Tantrums with Two

5 ways of how to handle twin toddlers (or any toddler!)

 

Are you wondering about ways to handle your toddler tantrums? Tantrums with one or two can be a little challenging at times – Welcome to the tantrums club and I can assure you that there are lots of us in it!

Here is my approach to tackling tantrums with two (although it applied to one as well). I am not saying these will work with yours, but they may be worth a go!

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Toddlers and children are like this – when you give them something that they want, they will ask for two; you give

them two they will ask for three. It happened today with a biscuit. They had two and wanted three. They keep demanding and pushing the boundaries all the time. What they are actually doing is trying to find out where you say enough is enough and like to have a boundary.

Every child is unique, and so is every parent and managing every day toddler tantrums could be altogether a different subject in each home. As I said, what may work for me, might not for someone else.

Here are  my 5 parenting tips to handle toddler tantrums.

 

Out of sight is out of mind

Sometimes you have a fight with your toddler over a toy, a cup or maybe a pair of shoes. Your toddler wants them but the timing is wrong – they can’t take the toy to the car, the shoes they want to wear are their best ones – what do you do? As soon as the storm settles, hide it somewhere. Toddlers mostly live in the present and explore things right around them, so there is a good chance that they will hopefully forget about it fairly quickly.

 

‘Let’s see!’

If your toddlers are anything like mine, the word ‘no’ triggers an almighty explosion – anything in reach gets thrown and then they nose dive to the ground like it’s the end of the world. Sound familiar? Therefore do not commit to anything in a hurry unless you are very sure you want to keep the word. I just keep saying ‘let’s see’ or ‘we’ll see’, to many of my child’s demands.

I have lost count of the occasions when ‘let’s see’ saved me, really! You can practice being diplomatic at home and who knows it might help you one day in your career as well, I know it has mine!

 

‘NO’ means ‘NO’

Sometimes they just need to understand that no means no, especially when it is related to their safety. When you are in this situation just say no and stick to it no matter what. This sounds strict but it will do good in the long run. If you back down, they remember and will keep going with that tantrum the next time until you give in.

With time, Children understand that when you say no, it means business! So when you say no, be kind and give them a hug, but tell them a no will stay as a no!

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It could be something else!

It could be something else, it often is something else and we are yet to work out what that something else is. There will be certain tantrums when no reason helps!

 

Try Ignoring

There are other times when they are just not ready to listen to anything at all. They cry so much that no matter what you say, it can only be heard inside your mind. In that case try and ignore the tantrum for a while till they settle down. Once they have, give them a cuddle and try to get them show you what was wrong; let them feel that you are here to listen.

It is ok to hold them until they calm down and are ready for a discussion. Most issues are better settled when both the parent and the child are calm and stable, irrespective of having disagreements.

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Is it worth the battle?

I’m a firm believer in being firm but fair with discipline and setting ground rules early is a must. However, you don’t want to constantly be saying ‘NO’ to your toddler. You have to win some battles, and you have to allow them to win some too. I never thought I would say that. As a teacher, I set me rules and stuck to them. Things are so different with toddlers! Ok, so I have written a few scenario down for you to think about.

 “My toddler won’t let me strap them into the car seat.”

Worth a battle? Absolutely. This is a matter of life or death.

I try singing to them and turn it into a game, or bribe them with a toy. Keep a toy in the front seat and pass it back to be held if they allow you to strap them in without a fuss.

 

“My child won’t kiss or hug Granny.”

Worth a battle? No, you can get them to give them a wave or blow a kiss.

 

“My toddler won’t let me brush their teeth.”

Worth a battle? It depends on your feelings about dental hygiene. I personally give the girls their toothbrush and I model how to do it with my own toothbrush. Made up rhymes also help too. I stopped short of forcing the issue and don’t stick to a time limit yet.

16 thoughts on “Tantrums with Two

  1. Love this. I have often sat after having a huge battle with my toddler thinking “was it really worth all that?’ most often its a no.

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    1. I think its easier said than done because allowing them to do some of the things they want goes against what we want. I’m learning to let things go more and distract.

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  2. My 5 year old has awful tantrums still, she is so emotional, but they are normally caused by something (tiredness or feeling worried about something).
    I think the No Means No thing is so important, likewise I hear parents threaten “if you don’t stop doing x we are going to go home” or similar. As soon as you threaten something you have to be prepared to follow through, as you say they remember if you don’t

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    1. Children are bright little things. Brighter than we give them credit for. I completely agree, you have to be so careful what you threaten because you have to follow it through. I don’t agree to threaten with not going to birthday parties for example because your child’s place has often cost someone a lot of money and thats not fair on those parents.

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  3. I’m lucky that usually I only have 1 child having a meltdown at a time as the others usually turn into lovely little angels in response to their devil sibling. Then all change as the next one reaches a crisis…

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  4. Some great tips here. My daughter is only 14 months so I’m not sure she understands any sort of training yet, but I’ll keep a lot of these in mind for the next year or so!

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    1. I think its good to start using the language fairly early on. It amazing on how much they do know and pick up. Mine still don’t really talk much but they can follow a set of instructions – even I am impressed at times!

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  5. I go with the ignore method, it usually works and they soon forget what upset them.. unless you are out and some kind person leans in and says the wonderful words of ‘oh whats the matter’ and causes an even LOUDER scream..

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  6. We’re deep in tantrum land, too, with my youngest. I’ve also found that I can do a lot to prevent tantrums to make sure she doesn’t get too hungry. An empty belly sure is a tantrum trigger for her!

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  7. I use some of these tactics, and the other thing I do is distraction, change the subject , i.e. If they are demanding biscuits, ill say a bit later and take them in the garden , get out a toy or bubbles , they then forget about it

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    1. I used this tactic today and it worked really quickly. Bubbles in our house are like magic dust – creates a calmness straight away. Thats adults and children’s bubbles!!

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